Airplane II: The Sequel


Airplane II: The Sequel, the sequel to the hilarious disaster spoof film Airplane!, stars Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, and Chad Everett. In this movie, which takes place in the near future, the moon has been colonized and Houston, TX has built a lunar shuttle station to transport passengers to the moon.

The beginning of this movie finds Ted Striker (Hays), who had previously landed a passenger airplane over Chicago with no crew, in a mental hospital, and Elaine Dickinson (Hagerty), a computer officer on the lunar flight and Striker's one true love, engaged to one of the flight crew, Simon Kurtz (Everett). However, unknown to Elaine, most of the other crew, and the passengers, a flaw exists in the space shuttle's design that had caused it to crash during a test flight that Ted had piloted. After the test pilot, Ted was declared mentally incompetent as a result of a lawsuit where others framed Ted to cover up the shuttle's flaw, citing Ted's tendency to "fold under pressure." Upon reading news of the space shuttle's launch, Ted escapes from the hospital and buys a ticket for the lunar flight.

Elaine, of course, does not approve of Ted running out of the hospital and thinks that part of the reason he escaped was to stop her marriage to Simon. Elaine, like most people, thinks Ted really is crazy. Ted even begins to believe he is crazy himself, but he is proven right about the shuttle when its computer short circuits and develops a mind of its own. The shuttle changes course to the sun, and it appears to have a very effective fail-safe device; two crew members are sucked into space trying to reprogram it; the shuttle's captain is gassed when he tries to reprogram it. Simon gives up hope and leaves the ship through its only escape pod, which causes Elaine to renounce her love for him. It is up to Ted, once again, to save the day and win Elaine back, only this time, it appears even he may not be able to avert doom, as he must first figure out how to deactivate the seemingly impenetrable computer!

Airplane II: The Sequel Sound ClipFile Name / Clip Length / File Size
"...No dogs are allowed on the shuttle, son. I'm afraid Scraps will have to be shot..."scraps.wav / 0:20 / 78.5 Kb
"...You're going to head up the division in charge of babies for Mr. and Mrs. Simon Kurtz. That's an order, Lieutenant."deptofbabies.wav / 0:14 / 56.7 Kb
"...What's the fastest animal on Earth? The cheetah, next. Should I fake my orgasms? Yes. Thank you. Next."next.wav / 0:17 / 70.2 Kb
"Don't you understand? They framed me and put me in here to keep me out of the way..."framed.wav / 0:11 / 44.9 Kb
"...What's his problem? The man's obviously crazy."crazy.wav / 0:10 / 42.0 Kb
"It's funny how fate can make heroes out of cowards."fate.wav / 0:02 / 11.4 Kb
"...This thing stinks to high heaven of kickback..."kickback.wav / 0:19 / 76.4 Kb
"Ted Striker was right when he test piloted that sucker, and what did he get for telling the truth? A one-way ticket to the funny farm."strikerright.wav / 0:06 / 25.8 Kb
Someone buys a time bomb in a very casual mannertimebomb.wav / 0:09 / 37.6 Kb
"...I'm very excited, Simon. I guess this is a first for you, eh kid. No, I've been excited before."excited.wav / 0:07 / 28.6 Kb
"...Techically, Dunn was under Oveur, and I was under Dunn..."oveurungerdunn.wav / 0:23 / 91.5 Kb
"...No more kids yelling, 'Your old man's a psychopathic sex pervert.'..."pervert.wav / 0:20 / 80.2 Kb
"...Andy went to pieces? No, Andy was the navigator. He was all right. Buddy went to pieces. It was awful how he came unglued. Howie came unglued?..."buddyandyhowie.wav / 0:29 / 117 Kb
"Doctor, can you give me your impression of Mr. Striker? I'm sorry, I don't do impressions. My training is in psychiatry."impression.wav / 0:05 / 21.5 Kb
"...How serious is it, Mr. Dunn? Uh, I can't tell, sir. You can tell me. I'm the captain."overheat.wav / 0:08 / 33.6 Kb
"...Cut the 'not where I'm sitting' shit..."humanerror.wav / 0:10 / 42.0 Kb
"...Should I check the rear databanks? No, why don't you check out the rear databanks."databanks.wav / 0:14 / 55.8 Kb
"...Jimmy, do you like it when Scraps holds on to your leg and rubs up and down?"rubsupdown.wav / 0:08 / 31.7 Kb
"Mr. Dunn and Mr. Unger were sucked out an airlock in the computer room. Both together?..."together.wav / 0:08 / 33.5 Kb
What "a tad" means in space termstad.wav / 0:08 / 34.3 Kb
"...Ever since Reagan fired the controllers, he's been completely senile. Yeah, but what about McCrosky? Pretty much the same as Reagan."senile.wav / 0:08 / 35.2 Kb
"I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up 'til now. Well, let's see, first the earth cooled..."everything.wav / 0:19 / 76.9 Kb
"...A large, fiery ball at the center of our solar system, but that's not important now. We're headed right for it."sun.wav / 0:06 / 25.6 Kb
"...They should... let all the psychopaths out of the asylums to run the world. No, I guess on second thought, that's a bad idea."letpsychosout.wav / 0:13 / 52.0 Kb
"...Maybe she's got her ship together."shiptogether.wav / 0:05 / 21.7 Kb
"Can I ask you a question? What is it?..."question.wav / 0:07 / 29.0 Kb
"We're not living in the past or the present anymore. This is the future."future.wav / 0:04 / 17.6 Kb
"...Jacobs, what have you got on Elaine Dickinson? Well, I'm two inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with."onelaine.wav / 0:07 / 27.5 Kb
"...The name's Striker. I'm sitting down and facing front..."position.wav / 0:06 / 26.4 Kb
"...Damn, we lost him again. Could be those sunspots. Could be your dishwashing detergent."losthim.wav / 0:09 / 38.0 Kb
"...We said all our operators are busy, so please stand by."standby.wav / 0:14 / 55.8 Kb
"...What's it look like? A radio? Well, about so big, green, with numbers and lots of knobs..."looklike.wav / 0:09 / 38.3 Kb
"...Not a buh, a bomb."bbomb.wav / 0:06 / 24.5 Kb
"...Would everybody move to the lounge who is not carrying a bomb?"movefrombomb.wav / 0:06 / 26.6 Kb
"No one has to know about your problem. No one has to know you're impotent. DON'T SAY THAT WORD!!"impotent.wav / 0:07 / 27.7 Kb
"Simon was a fool to eject now. You mean? That's right, premature ejection."premejection.wav / 0:04 / 19.1 Kb
"...We have no tower, sir... Why the hell aren't I notified about these things!?"notower.wav / 0:07 / 28.9 Kb
"...We could try ignoring it, sir..."ignore.wav / 0:11 / 44.1 Kb
"...Until that day over Macho Grandé. Over Macho Grandé, sir? No, I'm afraid I'll never get over Macho Grandé."machogrande.wav / 0:13 / 52.1 Kb
"These lights keep blinking out of sequence, sir... Get them to blink in sequence."outofsequence.wav / 0:06 / 24.3 Kb
"I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes."irony.wav / 0:03 / 14.0 Kb
"...I can't stand it anymore, the blinking and beeping and flashing..."blinkinglights.wav / 0:27 / 106 Kb
"...Coming in low is part of every textbook approach. It's just something you have to do when you land."cominginlow.wav / 0:11 / 45.9 Kb

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