| Back to School Sound Clip | File Name / Clip Length / File Size |
|---|
| "Are you fat?..." | fat.wav / 0:09 / 38.5 Kb |
| "If you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people" | lookthin.wav / 0:03 / 13.0 Kb |
| "...You got six closets full of nothing to wear" | nothingtowear.wav / 0:04 / 19.1 Kb |
| "...A lot of people go to Switzerland to get their watch fixed" | spendtoomuch.wav / 0:06 / 25.5 Kb |
| "You have no taste, Thornton..." | notaste.wav / 0:03 / 14.9 Kb |
| "You're impossible. Well, you're easy" | easy.wav / 0:02 / 10.4 Kb |
| "...If that dress had pockets, you'd look like a pool table" | pooltable.wav / 0:04 / 17.2 Kb |
| "The best thing about kids is making 'em" | kids.wav / 0:02 / 10.1 Kb |
| "Jason, you don't lie to me. You lie to girls" | lie.wav / 0:02 / 10.6 Kb |
| "When did you dream about going to college?..." | dream.wav / 0:03 / 14.3 Kb |
| "There's nothing like good clean business..." | business.wav / 0:03 / 15.5 Kb |
| "...In all fairness to Mr. Melon here, it was a really big check" | bigcheck.wav / 0:14 / 55.8 Kb |
| "The reason guys like you got a place to teach..." | donate.wav / 0:04 / 17.1 Kb |
| Derek refuses to let Chas (a swim team member) cut in line | nocut.wav / 0:30 / 117 Kb |
| The problem with used books | usedbooks.wav / 0:09 / 36.5 Kb |
| Thornton does not like his class schedule | inconvenience.wav / 0:18 / 72.6 Kb |
| "...It's a fictional product. It doesn't matter..." | widgets.wav / 0:17 / 69.9 Kb |
| Thornton's "costs of doing business" | melonscosts.wav / 0:29 / 116 Kb |
| "...Flunk me, flunk him" | flunkhim.wav / 0:08 / 31.8 Kb |
| The Great Lakes history professor recalls his experience in Vietnam | vietnam.wav / 0:19 / 77.7 Kb |
| "Say it, say it" | sayit.wav / 0:01 / 6.97 Kb |
| "...He really seems to care. About what, I have no idea" | care.wav / 0:05 / 20.3 Kb |
| "...You're tall and fat. Yeah, well you're short and ugly..." | shortandugly.wav / 0:08 / 33.9 Kb |
| "Oh, what do all men want?..." | menwant.wav / 0:06 / 26.8 Kb |
| Thornton does not change in front of guys | dontchange.wav / 0:06 / 26.5 Kb |
| "...I'm looking for the fountain of, uh, middle age" | fountain.wav / 0:05 / 19.7 Kb |
| "...Football is, in fact, a cryptic fascist metaphor for nuclear war" | nuclearwar.wav / 0:08 / 34.6 Kb |
| "I never get physical; I just get upset..." | physical.wav / 0:05 / 23.2 Kb |
| "...After they sacked the quarterback, they went after his family" | tough.wav / 0:08 / 32.1 Kb |
| What Thornton thinks of The Great Gatsby | great.wav / 0:04 / 18.4 Kb |
| "...They asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, he threw the teacher out the window" | gravity.wav / 0:04 / 16.2 Kb |
| Thornton does not have time to read and instead watches the movie versions | dontread.wav / 0:29 / 114 Kb |
| "Took out an English teacher. That didn't work out at all..." | englishteacher.wav / 0:04 / 18.8 Kb |
| "...I'm an Earth sign; she's a water sign. Together, we made mud" | mud.wav / 0:04 / 18.6 Kb |
| "With women, I never cry, never. I beg" | nevercry.wav / 0:02 / 10.1 Kb |
| "Kids, they always do things the hard way" | hardway.wav / 0:02 / 11.7 Kb |
| Chas accuses Thornton of buying Jason's spot on the swim team | boughtoffjudges.wav / 0:16 / 63.5 Kb |
| "Nice look. What are you going for?..." | look.wav / 0:06 / 25.2 Kb |
| "...Maybe you could help me straighten out my Longfellow" | longfellow.wav / 0:06 / 26.3 Kb |
| "...College is a dream world..." | notreal.wav / 0:06 / 24.7 Kb |
| "...Is the work that you turned in your own? I can't lie to you, Dean Martin. Yes, it is..." | ownwork.wav / 0:20 / 79.7 Kb |
| "...My two boys, I put one through college, and the other I put through a war" | nicetough.wav / 0:08 / 32.0 Kb |
| "...If I take 'em, who knows where they'll kick me?" | kickme.wav / 0:07 / 28.9 Kb |
| "...I missed the question. We haven't begun yet. Oh" | trent.wav / 0:08 / 32.6 Kb |
| "...Oh, I'd like to break you into twenty-seven parts..." | 27parts.wav / 0:11 / 44.2 Kb |
| "...I feel like I just gave birth to an accountant" | gavebirth.wav / 0:04 / 19.2 Kb |
| "You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two" | no2.wav / 0:03 / 14.7 Kb |
| "...As you go out into the world, my advice to you is, 'Don't go...'" | dontgo.wav / 0:11 / 43.8 Kb |
Back to School stars Rodney Dangerfield, Keith Gordon, Robert Downey, Jr., Paxton
Whitehead, and Sally Kellerman. In this movie, Thornton Melon (Dangerfield) is the owner of a
successful chain of "Tall and Fat" clothing stores. When Thornton decides to pay his son, Jason
(Gordon), who is a freshman at Grand Lakes University, he finds that Jason has made only one
friend, Derek (Downey); Jason has also not made the swim team even though he earlier told
Thornton he did and he is getting only C's. Unhappy with college, Jason considers dropping out,
but Thornton convinces him to stay by enrolling in college alongside him (Thornton had never
gone to college before). However, Thornton only gets into college by donating a building, which
upsets Dr. Philip Barbay (Whitehead), the economics professor at Grand Lakes and one of
Thornton's professors. While Thornton has made an enemy of Dr. Barbay, he becomes romantically
involved with Dr. Diane Turner (Kellerman), his literature professor, who had also been dating
Dr. Barbay. Also, it turns out Thornton had been paying people to do his work for him while in
college - for instance, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. had written an English paper on one of his own books
for Thornton. Dr. Barbay then accuses Thornton of not doing his own work, and Great Lakes
threatens to expel Thornton.