| Baseketball Sound Clip | File Name / Clip Length / File Size |
|---|
| "...Of course we graduated, cock beer" | cockbeer.wav / 0:06 / 25.6 Kb |
| "...You guys haven't changed since high school..." | notchanged.wav / 0:09 / 37.7 Kb |
| "...You still just hanging out, playing Nintendo..." | nintendo.wav / 0:07 / 60.7 Kb |
| "We're pretty good at basketball..." | goodatbsktball.wav / 0:06 / 26.6 Kb |
| Why Coop and Remur will never get a chick | nevergetchick.wav / 0:11 / 44.5 Kb |
| "...He's here to shut off the gas" | shutoffgas.wav / 0:08 / 35.1 Kb |
| Coop's impression of Steve Perry | steveperry.wav / 0:03 / 14.6 Kb |
| "...You couldn't get a chick if you had a $100 bill..." | 100dollarbill.wav / 0:05 / 23.0 Kb |
| "You kids with your loud music..." | youkids.wav / 0:07 / 29.5 Kb |
| "...I knew it was going to come down to me, I just knew it..." | downtosqueak.wav / 0:22 / 87.2 Kb |
| "...It took every player working together to lose this one" | teameffort.wav / 0:07 / 28.9 Kb |
| "...We prefer to think of them as 'health challenged'..." | dreamcometruefnd.wav / 0:11 / 44.2 Kb |
| "Would you like a fresh pretzel? I baked it myself..." | likecooks.wav / 0:15 / 60.1 Kb |
| "Theodore Denslow, dead at eighty-five..." | hairpiece24.wav / 0:05 / 22.4 Kb |
| "...I went to this hospital one time in France..." | hostile.wav / 0:09 / 37.4 Kb |
| "I gave him the best three months of my life" | best3months.wav / 0:04 / 16.7 Kb |
| Denslow sings "I'm Too Sexy" | toosexy.wav / 0:16 / 63.6 Kb |
| "...All part of the great fall lineup on our network's 'Who gives a rat's ass Thursdays'" | ratsassthurs.wav / 0:21 / 84.8 Kb |
| "...You and your colleages are going to have to continue working for..." | chickenfeed.wav / 0:16 / 65.5 Kb |
| "...If you want unanimous consent, you're going to have to get it from one of the other owners" | unanimous.wav / 0:04 / 16.1 Kb |
| Remur attempts to "psyche out" a San Antonio baseketball player (tries to make him miss a shot) | sanpsycheout.wav / 0:06 / 25.7 Kb |
| "...I'd have a shitload of nickels" | nickels.wav / 0:04 / 19.5 Kb |
| "...I've always dreamed of big game hunting..." | killthings.wav / 0:20 / 78.5 Kb |
| "...You'd have a better shot at Bill" | chelseaclinton.wav / 0:09 / 35.5 Kb |
| Joey, a boy undergoing a liver transplant, asks Coop to hit three home runs for him | 3homeruns.wav / 0:23 / 90.1 Kb |
| "...What grade are you in?" | whatgrade.wav / 0:04 / 16.6 Kb |
| "...She's a guy..." | dudelady.wav / 0:24 / 97.3 Kb |
| "Damn it man, I'm trying to save an innocent life..." | saveinnocentlife.wav / 0:09 / 35.7 Kb |
| "...Sometimes I forget why I play the game" | forgetwhy.wav / 0:18 / 72.4 Kb |
| "...Where are you going to be next year..." | alwaysbehere.wav / 0:25 / 100 Kb |
| "Do you think Shaq got rich playing in Orlando..." | shaq.wav / 0:13 / 54.5 Kb |
| "...I need you to get Coop to go along..." | quitbaseketball.wav / 0:12 / 49.3 Kb |
| Dude montage | dude.wav / 0:06 / 25.2 Kb |
| Coop makes every Beers team member part owner | allownteam.wav / 0:14 / 58.2 Kb |
| Squeak (of the Beers) psyches out Tuttle (of the LA Riots) | squeakpsycheout.wav / 0:12 / 50.3 Kb |
| "...I guess this really is emotional..." | emotional.wav / 0:17 / 70.4 Kb |
| "...If no clear winner emerges from all this, a two man sack race will be held..." | 2mansackrace.wav / 0:21 / 82.1 Kb |
| "Well I'm giving Jenna a pre-commitment ring..." | precommitment.wav / 0:06 / 26.0 Kb |
| "...I forgot how much Doug Remur cares about kids" | caresaboutkids.wav / 0:06 / 25.7 Kb |
| "What's that old saying..." | oldsayings.wav / 0:10 / 39.3 Kb |
| "...I thought you said you didn't want us to play ball..." | playball.wav / 0:30 / 117 Kb |
| "Go back to your fancy cars..." | goback.wav / 0:10 / 41.3 Kb |
| Coop hears a song on the radio that describes his life at that point | evilplansong.wav / 0:11 / 45.7 Kb |
| "...Look wherever you find the most haneous, blatant, and vile exploitation of children on the planet..." | disneyworld.wav / 0:11 / 45.7 Kb |
| "If I were a woman, I'd sure like to be his girlfriend..." | likebehisgirlfriend.wav / 0:13 / 51.1 Kb |
| "If you've forgotten what baseketball means to America..." | meaningofbball.wav / 0:26 / 105 Kb |
| "...My worst enemy turned out to be me" | ownworstenemy.wav / 0:09 / 36.3 Kb |
| A "Cartman" (from South Park) impression psyche-out from Coop | cartmanimp.wav / 0:06 / 24.8 Kb |
| "One shot, Coop makes it, the Beers win the Cup..." | oneshot.wav / 0:08 / 33.6 Kb |
| Joey's words of encouragement to Coop | bigsportsstar.wav / 0:09 / 36.7 Kb |
| "...I don't think I've ever been this excited..." | excited.wav / 0:06 / 27.1 Kb |
| Coop meets his hero, Reggie Jackson | reggie.wav / 0:26 / 105 Kb |
Baseketball stars Matt Stone, Trey Parker. In this movie, two lifelong friends, Joe "Coop"
Cooper (Parker) and Doug Remur (Stone), seem to be going nowhere in life. They're two grown men
with no jobs and rent that is three months overdue. However, they're very good at basketball,
as long as they don't have to "run or jump or dribble." After they attend a party of one of
their former high school classmates, they find out that every one of their other old friends
has moved on up in life, while Coop and Remur are still just "hanging out" and "playing
Nintendo." The two vow to get their act together, but the next day, they just go back to
playing their game, which is basketball but follows baseball rules (such as making a free throw
is a single, shooting farther back is a double, even farther is a triple, missing a basket is
an out, etc.). Soon, their game, known as "baseketball," catches on in their neighborhood, and
players form their own teams. At the end of a baseketball season, a billionaire named Ted
Denslow approaches Coop and pitches the idea of a National Baseketball League (NBL). Denslow
has been fed up with the direction the major sports leagues have gone over his life, and he
wants to "start fresh," with teams not being allowed to trade players or change cities, all
players being paid the same, as well as not engaging in other acts that detract from the game
itself. Coop accepts, and the league is created, with Coop and Remur's team becoming known as
the "Milwaukee Beers." Denslow owns the Beers at first, but then he dies from choking on a hot
dog (although he was 85, so many people think he died simply of old age). In his video will,
Denslow wills the team to Coop himself, but Coop must win the "Denslow Cup" (similar to winning
the Super Bowl or the World Series) or he loses the team to Baxter Cain, the owner of another
Baseketball team, the Dallas Felons. Moreover, Cain wants to strip the NBL of its integrity by
instituting rule changes to make the NBL just like all the other major sports leagues.