| The Comebacks Sound Clip | File Name / Clip Length / File Size |
|---|
| "...He was yanking off horses." | yohorses.wav / 0:16 / 66.1 Kb |
| "Coaching is in your blood, like Hepatitis C..." | blood.wav / 0:05 / 21.8 Kb |
| "Coaching is a Fields family tradition..." | tradition.wav / 0:05 / 22.8 Kb |
| "...Well, someone's name is Scruffy..." | scruffy.wav / 0:08 / 32.3 Kb |
| Michelle's sentence for her crimes is to rejoin the USA gymnastics team | sentence.wav / 0:22 / 88.8 Kb |
| "...It's gonna hurt bad. It's gonna hurt deep. Then, it's gonna start to feel good. Then, it's gonna hurt again." | worst6weeks.wav / 0:27 / 107 Kb |
| "...Oh, that helmet. I thought you were talking about something else." | buffhelmet.wav / 0:11 / 44.9 Kb |
| "...Nothing can hold you back, except an unforeseen career-ending injury..." | acltear.wav / 0:19 / 76.8 Kb |
| Lambeau's "politically correct" term for "retard" | notretard.wav / 0:09 / 36.0 Kb |
| "...It's just me having a boyfriend who happens to be black." | blackboyfriend.wav / 0:09 / 36.0 Kb |
| "...You can add, 'Did not make the football team,' to your list of woes..." | buzzkill.wav / 0:23 / 93.7 Kb |
| "...Who will come? Your father. Your dead father. My father's not dead. I just spoke with him this morning..." | notdead.wav / 0:17 / 68.3 Kb |
| "...Went for eleven straight years without a drink. What happened? Turned twelve." | 12.wav / 0:08 / 34.7 Kb |
| "...I do Cher four nights a week, Christina Aguilera on Saturday." | mill.wav / 0:07 / 29.1 Kb |
| "...They're very traditional and believe a woman's life should be spent in service to her husband... | tradwoman.wav / 0:10 / 40.2 Kb |
| "...I want you to cut class. I want academic probation..." | contract.wav / 0:30 / 117 Kb |
| "...I would like to smother her... with my breasts." | prettyhot.wav / 0:08 / 35.1 Kb |
| "...Don't call me, 'baby.' It makes me feel like an object. I'm sorry. He was talking to me." | baby.wav / 0:12 / 47.1 Kb |
| "Who do you play for? The Comebacks! Trotter..." | trotter.wav / 0:06 / 26.0 Kb |
| "...Sometimes, I think I might have a dirty mind." | rimjob.wav / 0:11 / 45.7 Kb |
| "...But, if you think you can try using unconventional training methods and crazy game plans..." | knowyou.wav / 0:23 / 93.4 Kb |
| "...But, if you should lose that second game..." | iflose.wav / 0:21 / 84.9 Kb |
| Lambeau describes the Trojans' (one of the Comebacks' rivals) offense and defense | trojans.wav / 0:20 / 78.4 Kb |
| "Get out there, Aceel, and tear it up. Tear it up good." | acltear2.wav / 0:03 / 13.0 Kb |
| "...Two times. Is that what you call a couple?..." | 2.wav / 0:10 / 41.6 Kb |
| "Ignoring us is is is something that you've never been able to resist, like a make your own taco bar or midget wrestling." | notresist.wav / 0:06 / 25.8 Kb |
| "I just don't see how watching man-on-man porn makes you a better coach?..." | gayporn.wav / 0:07 / 27.8 Kb |
| "...Why don't you act like my parents, go upstairs, and have some makeup sex?" | swapinsults.wav / 0:29 / 116 Kb |
| "...Are we gonna let Bobby get his wish? NO! What do we want him to do? DIE SAD!..." | diesad.wav / 0:22 / 87.9 Kb |
| "Crack is whack, and white don't cover black." | white.wav / 0:02 / 10.2 Kb |
| "...I'll pack your fudge. Please tell me you're a confectionaire's assistant." | pleasetellme.wav / 0:12 / 47.2 Kb |
| "...One, two, three - STD's!" | celebrate.wav / 0:19 / 78.0 Kb |
| "I'm a total hardcore surfer chic. At night? In the middle of Texas?..." | hardcore.wav / 0:06 / 27.3 Kb |
| "...I'm rebelling against the rebellious label..." | rebelling.wav / 0:14 / 55.9 Kb |
| "...Under all that self tanner and macromade bikini, there's something very warm and soft and pink..." | underneath.wav / 0:13 / 53.8 Kb |
| Lambeau shows his team how to celebrate a football game victory | wongame.wav / 0:20 / 80.4 Kb |
| Freddie reveals to Lambeau why he really talked Lambeau back into coaching | lose.wav / 0:23 / 91.8 Kb |
| "There's a lot of drama going on over there... which means, for us, automatic victory - they're not gonna make it!" | autovictory.wav / 0:25 / 100 Kb |
| "...It's, uh, it's a little south of, uh, doing Barb's fine ass-avania." | bangwife.wav / 0:10 / 39.8 Kb |
| Lambeau describes the "perfect gal" | perfectgal.wav / 0:15 / 60.9 Kb |
| "...I treated her like a queen, like an Egyptian queen..." | egyptianqueen.wav / 0:18 / 72.7 Kb |
| "I want what you and Mom have. Herpes? No, true love." | herpes.wav / 0:05 / 23.4 Kb |
| "...This is your last and, actually first, chance to prove everyone wrong." | win.wav / 0:20 / 78.8 Kb |
| "There used to be, uh, a big, big man inside of you..." | bigman.wav / 0:08 / 33.0 Kb |
| "Right in the middle of a Toilet Bowl - there's no place in the world I'd rather be." | toiletbowl.wav / 0:03 / 15.4 Kb |
| "I left something for you in your locker, for good luck. I know. I'm wearing it..." | brapanties.wav / 0:10 / 41.1 Kb |
| "The excitement is so thick in this stadium, you could cut it with a knife..." | knife.wav / 0:15 / 59.6 Kb |
| "This team's all I got. Without it, I am nothing, back on the streets. Dude, your parents just bought you a house..." | streets.wav / 0:10 / 43.0 Kb |
| "...That's ridiculous. How much is he paying you? $1000 a call - twice the going rate." | 1000.wav / 0:13 / 51.4 Kb |
| "Coach, isn't this the part where you turn your personal tragedies and shortcomings into a rousing inspirational rally cry?..." | rally.wav / 0:11 / 44.9 Kb |
| "...Are you saying Oprah's fat!?..." | oprah.wav / 0:17 / 68.3 Kb |
| "He loves me, like chili fries and the smell of his own burps." | lovesme.wav / 0:04 / 19.5 Kb |
| "...Someone who thinks outside the X-Box." | xbox.wav / 0:06 / 25.7 Kb |
| "...I sure don't know anything about basketball, but I'll take it." | basketball.wav / 0:15 / 59.9 Kb |
The Comebacks stars David Koechner, Carl Weathers, Melora Hardin, Brooke Nevin, and
Matthew Lawrence. In this movie, Coach Lambeau Fields (Koechner) is portrayed as the worst
coach in sports history - he loses more games than anyone. Eventually, he gives up on coaching,
until one day, he is visited by an old colleague and fellow coach, Freddie Wiseman (Weathers),
who talks Lambeau into coaching the football team at Heartland State University in Plainfolk,
TX. To Lambeau's dismay, his team is made up of a bunch of misfits who should not even be on a
sports team. Despite the odds, Lambeau actually manages to turn the Comebacks around, using
highly unconventional methods that poke fun at other sports flicks.