| I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell Sound Clip | File Name / Clip Length / File Size |
|---|
| "...I was unaware that, uh, gay marriages were legal in this state." | gaymarriage.wav / 0:14 / 55.0 Kb |
| "...Didn't you hook up with a mute girl last semester? I mean, that makes you two-thirds of a way to a Helen Keller." | deafmute.wav / 0:11 / 46.7 Kb |
| "...I was busy talking about having sex with a deaf girl." | deafgirl.wav / 0:06 / 24.8 Kb |
| "...What are we protecting [little people] from? Eagles and poachers and stuff, like an endangered species?" | protected.wav / 0:08 / 33.7 Kb |
| "...This is an employment law class, not Adult Friend Finder." | dwarfstripper.wav / 0:23 / 92.1 Kb |
| "...I just wait for you to stop talking about yourself, get bored, and hang up." | dontlisten.wav / 0:06 / 24.3 Kb |
| Drew's take on the diamond industry | diamonds.wav / 0:16 / 66.4 Kb |
| "The most rewarding part of our friendship is your ability to find amusement in the destruction of my life." | rewarding.wav / 0:06 / 25.2 Kb |
| "Are you saying that Magic Johnson is black and has AIDS and has it better than me?" | magicjohnson.wav / 0:07 / 28.4 Kb |
| "...They're just all in the compost heap behind planned parenthood." | kids.wav / 0:06 / 25.6 Kb |
| "You think you're tough? Nope, just tougher than you." | tough.wav / 0:03 / 14.0 Kb |
| "I would rather felate a hot curling iron than..." | hotiron.wav / 0:08 / 34.9 Kb |
| Who does Dan care more about - Tucker or Kristy? | tucker.wav / 0:19 / 76.8 Kb |
| "...Compromise? Are you kidding me? That's all I've been doing..." | compromise.wav / 0:29 / 114 Kb |
| "...Since the ladies can't seem to keep their hands off of me, it would be irresponsible for me to go to clubs around here." | notouch.wav / 0:09 / 39.0 Kb |
| "...You didn't lie to her, I did..." | lie.wav / 0:08 / 32.9 Kb |
| "They're hookers. They'd subject themselves to anything for the right price..." | hookers.wav / 0:04 / 19.2 Kb |
| "...By everybody, you mean, all of the dudes?..." | everybody.wav / 0:08 / 31.5 Kb |
| "...If it lacks a price, it is probably worthless." | priceless.wav / 0:06 / 23.9 Kb |
| "...Your friends are laughing with mine. I'm not laughing at all..." | laugh.wav / 0:10 / 39.9 Kb |
| Drew has no middle name? | shutup.wav / 0:06 / 24.5 Kb |
| "...We can't both go after the girl with the lowest self esteem now, can we?" | wwtd.wav / 0:08 / 35.1 Kb |
| "I think your friend's hotter. Yeah, well, just stand there and talk to him for five minutes and then, tell me what you think." | 5minutes.wav / 0:04 / 18.7 Kb |
| "Mommy, where do babies come from? Go ask your deadbeat father and his fancy new wife." | babies.wav / 0:06 / 24.4 Kb |
| "I can't be held accountable for the things that come out of my mouth." | accountable.wav / 0:02 / 9.32 Kb |
| "We're going down a strange dark alley on the advice of a drunken hobo..." | darkalley.wav / 0:08 / 33.6 Kb |
| "...We're also drinking Thug Passion. It's what your mom put in your bottle, so she could watch Young and the Restless in peace..." | thugpassion.wav / 0:18 / 73.6 Kb |
| "...If we go to a hotel room, we can do anything we want too. True, but then I don't get paid." | anything.wav / 0:09 / 37.1 Kb |
| "...If you were my mom, I would have been raised by a talentless hooker rather than a nagging shrew. There's a win-win." | ifmom.wav / 0:15 / 61.4 Kb |
| "I'm not going to some vile stripper den..." | stealorgans.wav / 0:08 / 35.0 Kb |
| "How are you still attracted to him?..." | attracted.wav / 0:09 / 37.6 Kb |
| "...I'm not lying for you cretins. My moral compass doesn't point directly down my pants." | notlying.wav / 0:24 / 97.0 Kb |
| "...Is he named after his baby daddy or the liquor on which he was conceived?" | jack.wav / 0:07 / 30.7 Kb |
| The top three reasons strippers use to justify their career choice | stripperexcuses.wav / 0:16 / 66.0 Kb |
| "...I can teach you how to use standoffish humor as a mask for your inability to relate to people on a personal level." | humor.wav / 0:14 / 55.6 Kb |
| "...I usually want to kick most kids into a wood chipper..." | kids2.wav / 0:06 / 25.4 Kb |
| "It's so much easier to call a girl a whore than it is to admit to yourself she's out of your league." | outofleague.wav / 0:04 / 18.3 Kb |
| Tucker describes his "midget princess" | midgetprincess.wav / 0:17 / 67.1 Kb |
| "I'm not a dwarf. I'm a little person. Oh, is that what Doc told you, Grumpy?" | grumpy.wav / 0:04 / 16.7 Kb |
| "...You've never been to that strip club before? No, I mean not, not until last time." | lasttime.wav / 0:13 / 52.0 Kb |
| "...Good Baptists don't get caught. That's right. They just sit in judgment of others, refusing to help them when they need it the most." | baptists.wav / 0:15 / 60.6 Kb |
| "...We have class. You know, that place we pay thirty-five grand a year to attend between happy hours..." | class.wav / 0:07 / 27.6 Kb |
| "God truly does protect children and fools, because you are both, Tucker." | childrenfools.wav / 0:04 / 16.8 Kb |
| "...One word and a guy headnod isn't a sincere apology. What else am I supposed to say? I'm not a mind reader." | apology.wav / 0:07 / 30.9 Kb |
| "You already submarined one relationship this week. I'd like to have a chance to see if mine can float before you torpedo it." | float.wav / 0:06 / 24.5 Kb |
| "..You know what's not like a regular cat - a dog." | catdog.wav / 0:15 / 58.9 Kb |
| "...I already hide liquor around my house and drink alone in the dark." | alcoholism.wav / 0:09 / 37.5 Kb |
| Tucker states the drawbacks and benefits of drinking alcoholic beverages | alcohol.wav / 0:29 / 115 Kb |
| "...Two hot girls decided to talk to you. What hot girls? US!" | hotgirls.wav / 0:07 / 27.5 Kb |
| "...Does your husband know you flirt with men you meet in bars?" | doesknow.wav / 0:04 / 17.8 Kb |
| "Do you always hit on women in the bathroom line?..." | bathroomline.wav / 0:06 / 23.8 Kb |
| "...I'm sure that I will only have daughters, and they will all be vicious sluts who sleep with asses like me and throw it back in my face, but such is karma." | karma.wav / 0:11 / 45.1 Kb |
| "...I don't need to actually clean up the mess to learn a lesson." | bullsht.wav / 0:19 / 74.8 Kb |
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell stars Matt Czuchry, Geoff Stults, Jesse Bradford, Keri
Lynn Pratt, and Marika Dominczyk. This movie is actually based on a true story and a novel
written by the main character of this movie, Tucker Max (Czuchry). The movie depicts a time in
Tucker's life when he and his friends, Dan (Stults) and Drew (Bradford), drive to Salem, MA from
their home in Richmond, VA to throw a bachelor party for Dan and to get Drew out of a funk he'd
been in ever since his last girlfriend left him for a billionaire rapper. Dan's fiancee, Kristy
(Pratt), does not like the idea of Dan going to Salem with Tucker, because Tucker is known to be
extremely selfish and does not exactly reciprocate Dan's loyalty to him. Nevertheless, Dan goes
against Kristy's wishes, but only after Tucker lies to her for Dan. Surely enough, Tucker's
selfishness shines through when he abandons Dan at the Salem strip club to have sex with a
midget stripper. Drew is not around either, as he had left the club with another stripper, Lara
(Domincyzk), with whom he had a genuine connection; Lara later becomes his girlfriend. As a
result, Dan gets too drunk and gets thrown out of the club and later arrested for disorderly
behavior. When Dan learns the truth about what happened, he breaks off his friendship with
Tucker and bans him from the wedding ceremony. Tucker just shrugs it off, until he has an
epiphany on the night before Dan's wedding and finally realizes just what a true friend Dan has
been to him and that Dan never got the recognition from Tucker that he deserved; Tucker shows up
at the wedding the next day and sincerely tries to make amends, and in the process, ends up
surprising Dan with the wedding ceremony of Dan's dreams (sort of).