| The Slammin' Salmon Sound Clip | File Name / Clip Length / File Size |
|---|
| "...You want me to tell that guy to cook this in his ass..." | ass.wav / 0:10 / 41.6 Kb |
| "...You always got to beat the shit out of the loser..." | beatuploser.wav / 0:11 / 45.1 Kb |
| "...The customer shoved the food in your mouth and told you you had to eat it?..." | hadtoeatit.wav / 0:16 / 65.2 Kb |
| Rich is afraid to quit his job because he fears telling The Champ to his face | champ.wav / 0:28 / 111 Kb |
| "...I made sweet hot love to an orangutan..." | orangutan.wav / 0:11 / 43.2 Kb |
| "...It's blackened because I bought sixty pieces last Tuesday and it's gone bad." | blackened.wav / 0:10 / 40.9 Kb |
| "...I think you took two pounds off your nose." | nose.wav / 0:05 / 22.4 Kb |
| "...Uh uh, daylight savings. Then, you should be an hour early." | hour.wav / 0:04 / 17.7 Kb |
| "...Every time he came on TV, America threw up in their mouths, just a little bit." | killed.wav / 0:07 / 27.4 Kb |
| "...I know I've seen you somewhere before. Is it from TV, do you think?..." | knowyou.wav / 0:12 / 49.2 Kb |
| "...No way, I'm the black woman from Law and Order." | lawandorder.wav / 0:05 / 21.5 Kb |
| "...I'm a little cash poor right now. I bought some land on the moon next to John Travolta." | 20000.wav / 0:21 / 86.0 Kb |
| "...I'm gonna need those arms. I've got three kids. All the more reason to keep it open." | needarms.wav / 0:16 / 64.7 Kb |
| Rich offers Norah Jones concert tickets to entice the waiters to sell, sell, sell | norahjones.wav / 0:17 / 68.6 Kb |
| "He's brave, but naive..." | braieve.wav / 0:04 / 19.3 Kb |
| "When somebody sends back a dessert, you've gotta move fast..." | wild.wav / 0:04 / 16.7 Kb |
| "So, why do they call you Nuts?..." | nuts.wav / 0:16 / 65.4 Kb |
| "...I also hum the Macarena, doesn't mean I want to go to the Macarena concert." | macarena.wav / 0:07 / 29.9 Kb |
| "...It's so unfishy, it's not even classified as a fish." | cod.wav / 0:10 / 42.4 Kb |
| "It's your birthday? Yeah. Where's your birthday suit?" | birthday.wav / 0:04 / 18.9 Kb |
| "Donny, have you ever noticed that redheaded people breathe through their mouths?..." | orangutans.wav / 0:08 / 33.8 Kb |
| "The woman said it's cold. It's steaming! I know. Customers, huh?..." | cold.wav / 0:06 / 26.9 Kb |
| "Did Joe Thiesman quit when he broke his leg?..." | joethiesman.wav / 0:06 / 27.0 Kb |
| "...When you assume, you make an ass out of yourself." | assume.wav / 0:07 / 30.9 Kb |
| "If 'if's' and 'buts' was candies and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas." | ifsbuts.wav / 0:03 / 12.6 Kb |
| "Most guys go surf 'n turf..." | surfnturf.wav / 0:05 / 19.8 Kb |
| "You have to dominate the swordfish. Only then can you sautée it." | dominate.wav / 0:05 / 19.8 Kb |
| "Are we at twenty grand yet? We're at 12,000. That's not even halfway!" | halfway.wav / 0:05 / 19.8 Kb |
| "Say it, 'I am useless, with a capital 'Y.''" | useless.wav / 0:05 / 22.0 Kb |
| "Who is Guy Meatdrapes?... It's Metdrapedes..." | meatdrapes.wav / 0:18 / 72.0 Kb |
| The Champ is not a numbers man | punch.wav / 0:16 / 65.4 Kb |
| "I don't know the first thing about waiting tables..." | waiting.wav / 0:07 / 27.6 Kb |
| "You made it through six months of college, right? Sounds like waiter material to me." | college.wav / 0:03 / 13.3 Kb |
| "Rich, he's over the edge. We have to help him. Let it slide, he's selling like crazy..." | totallycare.wav / 0:06 / 25.0 Kb |
| A waiter known as Nuts had been possessed by his alter ego, Zongo | nutszongo.wav / 0:11 / 43.9 Kb |
| "Be graceful and amazing, 'cause that's what I am." | amazing.wav / 0:04 / 16.6 Kb |
| "...Breaking your ribs won't kill you." | brokenrib.wav / 0:10 / 40.4 Kb |
| Why The Champ thought Rich would make a good husband for Champ's sister | nevercheat.wav / 0:14 / 58.2 Kb |
| "...Why would that waiter recommend something that's turned?..." | weekold.wav / 0:27 / 108 Kb |
| "...When I'm done with school, I'll fix your nose for free..." | nose2.wav / 0:18 / 74.2 Kb |
| "...Twenty percent of nothing is nothing." | notip.wav / 0:14 / 57.3 Kb |
| "...When The Champ kills me, just see to it I get a decent burial..." | 1000dllrtip.wav / 0:18 / 73.4 Kb |
| "...There is no $10,000. That was all predicated on an illusion." | no10000.wav / 0:10 / 40.2 Kb |
| The Champ thinks yen and dollars are the same thing | yendollars.wav / 0:10 / 41.1 Kb |
| "You know what they say, all the good ones are either..." | goodones.wav / 0:07 / 28.0 Kb |
The Slammin' Salmon stars Michael Clarke Duncan and Kevin Heffernan. In this movie, "Slammin'" Cleon Salmon
(Duncan), also known as "The Champ," is a former Heavyweight Champion of the World turned owner of a high end Miami seafood
restaurant, The Slammin' Salmon. The movie takes a look at one night on the job of The Slammin' Salmon wait staff. During
this night, general manager Rich (Heffernan) must motivate his wait staff to produce $20,000 worth of revenues, despite that
the restaurant has never pulled in more than $15,000 in one night before. The reason the money is so important that night is
because The Champ lost a Japanese albino-hunting related wager and needs to pay off the debt or else the Japanese Yakuza
will take his restaurant. The Champ even claims to offer a prize of $10,000 to the top-selling waiter or waitress, while
threatening the lowest performing waiter with a beating. Rich also resorts to some pretty desperate measures to bring in the
revenues, such as allowing one of his waiters to go without his medication for schizophrenia and even putting a busboy on
the wait staff on his first night on the job, partly because Rich is too afraid of The Champ to stand up to him. Hilarity
ensues.