| Zoolander Sound Clip | File Name / Clip Length / File Size |
|---|
| "...And when he's finished, we dispose of him" | needsimpleton.wav / 0:25 / 98.3 Kb |
| Derek tells Matilda when and why he decided to become a model | profgoodlooking.wav / 0:18 / 72.5 Kb |
| "...A photo might steal a part of your soul..." | stealsoul.wav / 0:18 / 72.4 Kb |
| "Are you worried about Hansel..." | gretel.wav / 0:05 / 20.0 Kb |
| "Modeling to me isn't about being good looking or..." | modelgoodlooking.wav / 0:06 / 26.2 Kb |
| What Derek tries to think about every time he gets in front of the camera | clay.wav / 0:06 / 25.2 Kb |
| "...I'm sure Hansel's heard of styling gel..." | stylinggel.wav / 0:24 / 95.1 Kb |
| How models help people | helppeople.wav / 0:27 / 108 Kb |
| "Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me..." | brothers.wav / 0:11 / 44.0 Kb |
| "...It doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident" | gasfight.wav / 0:08 / 33.6 Kb |
| "Hansel, so hot right now, Hansel" | sohot.wav / 0:03 / 12.6 Kb |
| Derek mispronounces the word eulogizer | eulogizer.wav / 0:09 / 36.9 Kb |
| "Maybe I could even have my own institute..." | institute.wav / 0:07 / 27.7 Kb |
| "Right now, this guy is so hot, you could take a crap..." | earrings.wav / 0:07 / 30.9 Kb |
| "Can't you even pretend to be happy to see me, Pop..." | notactor.wav / 0:06 / 25.9 Kb |
| "...Now that you're retired, I can't have you..." | mugatuhirederek.wav / 0:13 / 53.5 Kb |
| "...You could actually have a nice rack of lamb going on up there" | opinion.wav / 0:08 / 34.5 Kb |
| "Happy, happy, happy..." | happy.wav / 0:07 / 29.6 Kb |
| "Prime Minister of Malasia bad, martial arts good..." | brainwash.wav / 0:11 / 44.7 Kb |
| Derek misspells "day" | daiye.wav / 0:03 / 13.9 Kb |
| "...I can't sleep with you..." | sleepwithmatilda.wav / 0:13 / 52.6 Kb |
| "...No matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way" | nomatterhow.wav / 0:21 / 85.0 Kb |
| "Excuse me, bra..." | bra.wav / 0:04 / 18.5 Kb |
| "You think you're too cool for school..." | toocool.wav / 0:06 / 24.4 Kb |
| "Hans-sellout is about to have his Hansel ass handed to him on a platter..." | hanssellout.wav / 0:06 / 24.5 Kb |
| "...There have got to be some people out there...who can't turn...left" | cantturnleft.wav / 0:19 / 77.1 Kb |
| Former hand model J.P. Prewett reveals how the fashion industry was behind Abe Lincoln's assassination | johnwbooth.wav / 0:21 / 84.6 Kb |
| Why male models are the ideal assassins | mmassassins.wav / 0:14 / 55.0 Kb |
| "...At the proper moment, they'll trigger you...and when it's over..." | afterparty.wav / 0:18 / 70.8 Kb |
| "...Everwhere I look, Hansel, Hansel Hansel" | hatehansel.wav / 0:05 / 20.8 Kb |
| "...Some dude's brainwashed Derek to off the Prime Minster of Micronesia..." | micronesia.wav / 0:06 / 26.6 Kb |
| "...But how do you feel about male models..." | whyhatemodels.wav / 0:15 / 59.3 Kb |
| "I became bulimic. You can read minds?" | readminds.wav / 0:04 / 17.0 Kb |
| "...I throw up after lots of meals..." | throwup.wav / 0:16 / 63.7 Kb |
| "...Give in to the power of the tea" | tea.wav / 0:03 / 15.3 Kb |
| "...I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman" | fallformatilda.wav / 0:20 / 79.6 Kb |
| "...It's not like we think that we're actually in a control tower trying to reach outer space aliens or something..." | earthto.wav / 0:25 / 100 Kb |
| "...They won't be looking for not us" | notus.wav / 0:05 / 19.8 Kb |
| Derek and Hansel sound like monkeys | monkeys.wav / 0:22 / 86.7 Kb |
| "...If you go, they'll make you kill that Eurasian dude..." | neverbeenlate.wav / 0:13 / 51.2 Kb |
| "...I know it was you, and it breaks my heart" | knowwasyou.wav / 0:11 / 43.2 Kb |
| "I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew..." | prostate.wav / 0:03 / 15.2 Kb |
| Mugatu snaps | donenothing.wav / 0:11 / 44.3 Kb |
| "The designer's got your nuts in a vice..." | screwhim.wav / 0:14 / 57.0 Kb |
| "...We teach you that there's more to life than just being really really really good looking" | dzcenter.wav / 0:09 / 38.7 Kb |
Zoolander stars Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Jerry Stiller, Will Ferrell, and Christine
Taylor. Ben Stiller plays the title character, Derek Zoolander, a male supermodel and
three-time recipient of the Male Model of the Year award. However, this year, his position as
"king of male models" is being challenged by a relatively new model, Hansel (Wilson). This
year, Hansel wins the award, which gets Derek thinking about what he's really done with his
life. After his roommates, who are also male models, die in a freak gasoline fight accident,
Derek plans to retire from male modeling and goes back to his hometown to work in the coal
mines with his father and two brothers. However, after that does not work out, Derek returns to
modeling after his agent, Maury Ballstein (J. Stiller), informs him that fashion designer
Jacobim Mugatu (Ferrell), the one fashion designer who had never hired Derek before, wants him
for a "Derelicte" campaign. However, what Mugatu does not tell Derek is that the campaign is
just a cover for him to assassinate the prime minister of Malaysia, as the prime minister wants
to abolish child labor, which would significantly increase Mugatu's costs. Derek does not find
out about Mugatu's plan until after he is already brainwashed, and he hears it from
Times magazine journalist Matilda Jeffries (Taylor). Matilda had previously written an
article criticizing male models in general, and Derek in particular, but she grows concerned
when Derek "disappeared" for a week (when he was being brainwashed). The two then seek help
from Hansel (after Derek and Hansel settle their differences). Hansel and Matilda work together
to keep Derek from killing the prime minister and dying a bizarre death afterwards (per
Mugatu's plan).